So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize