Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
