I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
