if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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