The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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