It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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