A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
