So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
