Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
