Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
