just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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