What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
