found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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