Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
