Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
