1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
