Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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