Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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