Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
