last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize