she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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