My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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