if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
