Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
