When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize