oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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