My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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