she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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