is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
4 words: hood of his car
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
