Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
false alarm, still single
Randomize
