They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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