I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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