The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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