why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
