Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
