Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
