I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
