Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize