those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
