how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
