I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
