i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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