That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
