first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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