Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
