Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We have so much sex to catch up on
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
