yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
