Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize