dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
