she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
