Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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