I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
