she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
