I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
