Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
