He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
