We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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