Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize