i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
