; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
