So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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