Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
