Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
