We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Someone shit on the floor
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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