are you still at the devil's house?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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