matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
