ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
