Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
